Oh Christmas tree, how you mock me

With twinkles, tinsel, and fine filigree

Such taunting point’ branches

A trunk that needs scratches

Topp’d with a geist most contemptuously

.

The baubles they boast with such fangle

Those blink lights I do yearn to strangle

Yet, I am forbade to go near

As destruction is feared

For it is Tree Beast that I wish to mangle

.

It be nightfall t’when I make sneaks

From the trunk I do climb to its peak

At the tops of the branches

I have the best vantage

To ensue complete CHAOS; thou shall WREAK!

.

I shall RULE; I am CAT; I will CONQUER!!!!

I unleash midnight CRAZIES, as my marker

The tree needs be SMASHED

In one descending CRASH

I DESTROY like a kama-CAT-sy bomber

.

At this point I hear many screamings

The hoomans have waked from their dreamings

They know not my brav’ry

Why I raze coniferously

Instead I receive reprimandings

.

It is here where my tale must be done

The hoomans think I havoc in fun

T’is a plight I must bear

For the danger ensnared:

A humble warrior, now I am shunned