Feed me hooman,

For I am not tub

My consummate figure

Has more belly to rub

Not like Other Cat

Emaciated and all

I require more kibs

To grow fierce and tall

Why no more kibs?

You say I am fat???

I choose not to catch prey

Let’s just leave it at that

I am chill just observing

From a shady low spot

While Other Cat has brought

A tasty snack she has caught

You say I am tubby

You say I am Chonk

How I leap off the counter

With  an earth-shaking ‘plonk’!

You say that I waddle

My way up the stairs

But that’s just my cool saunter

As I amble up there

More kibs I am needing

More noms you must give

If no kibs fill my bowl

I fear I won’t live